


Roses are Red

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abusive Relationships, M/M, solangelo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2018-12-05 04:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Red is a strange color. It jumps the spectrum of symbolism- passion, love, fire or hate, rage, anger. A beating red heart against red bloody knuckles. Like the beautiful rose, it's either beauty or prickling pain.Ever since Nico first literally ran into Will on his first day of college, his heart beat only for him. A year later, best friends and having never confessed his feelings, Nico has to watch Will get wooed by someone braver than him.And it's beautiful. Because Will is happy, he's in the clouds, absolutely ecstatic and happy.Until one day he's not. One day the confidence is gone completely. His sure, steady hands are trembling and weak. And his skin is littered with strange marks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I come from an abusive household. I lived through domestic abuse for eight years, and its impact continues to affect me a little over a decade later. I felt the necessity to give a voice to the people trapped in an abusive relationship, to show what it entails and what it does to a person.  
> As a writer, I always vowed to myself that I would write so in a way so raw and honest, it would list my novels under banned books. I would write the reality people are afraid to write. I would write the voices that have been silenced.  
> So that's what this story is. It will show the development and the struggle of an abusive relationship so that everyone can understand the fear, the hurt, the pain. So people will stop asking, "Why didn't you just leave them?" or "What did you do to provoke them?" and start standing up for the victims instead.  
> This story will contain violence and sexual abuse in addition to emotional abuse. I don't write this because I find pleasure in it, but because I believe it's important for people to understand what this is like. 
> 
> After a poll on Tumblr, this story has been molded to star Will and Nico from the Percy Jackson series. In reality, you can put any faces you want on these characters. It's the story that matters. 
> 
> I also decided making this an LGBT novel because LGBT people are silenced further when it comes to abuse. Not only because of the previously mentioned questions but because many don't believe women are abusive nor are men abusive to each other. It's just a matter of fighting back.  
> That is not true. 
> 
> If you or someone you know need help in regards to domestic abuse, call National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 with more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential. Online chat is also available on their website between 7am-2am central time at www.thehotline.org

* * *

 

It’s funny how time works. How every precise second is a factor in your life. A moment earlier, a moment later, and your life can change completely without you realizing it. It seemed like time was constantly the reason behind everything. This fabricated illusion created by humans to measure their uneventful lives to the point of panic or stress had managed to be the molder of lives.

That was all Nico could really think. That single second that had sent him barreling through the classroom door his first day of college until he was toppled over another student with bright eyes and clusters of freckles. That minute it took him to gather his things and leave the coffee shop on campus resulting in Nico running into the same student- though not literally this time- as he walked in at the same time Nico was going to walk out. That single half-second glance that resulted in running a red light, slamming the brakes too hard, and going to a hospital because a single second later another car had swerved into them.

The minute of traffic that had caused them to get to the club past the hour that 21 and under were allowed. The moment of frustrated hesitation that led to someone offering help, sneaking them through the back. The three minutes in which Nico left to get a drink, the single second it took for him to turn and find Will in the crowd, talking to someone.

Life had changed for the better and for the worse by mere seconds. Moments which, had they happened a little earlier or later, would have led their lives down completely different paths.

Nico hated time.

***

There was an incessant tug at his arm. “Nico, come on, we’re going to be late, and we’ll have driven there for nothing,” Will sighed. “We have to go.

“Give me two seconds, man I’m almost done,” he said, peeking up at the mirror, his hands running through his hair, trying to spread the gel just right. Will rolled his eyes and leaned against the counter, watching Nico through the window. His eyes flickered over to him, suddenly uncomfortable. “Dude. Stop staring, you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m thinking maybe if I intimidate you enough, we can leave already.” Nico rolled his eyes and turned to him.

“Ever heard the expression ‘a watched teapot never whistles?’”

“You’re not a teapot,” he pointed out, smirking, raising an eyebrow. Nico snorted and shoved him playfully. “Finally,” he breathed as Nico left the bathroom.

Together, they left Nico’s on campus apartment and started for Will’s car. Since Nico crashed his, he hasn’t been able to fix it, rendering it useless. He glanced momentarily at Will knowing that on his right side, there were twenty stitches. Will was rocking the side shaved look, but knowing it was Nico’s fault made it painful to look at him sometimes. The hair had grown out enough, the stitches healed so that there was only a faded, jagged, light scar obscured by dirty blond hair.

“You can stop looking at me like I’m a lost puppy, Neeks. It’s been four months.” Will always knew when Nico was thinking about the accident. “I’m perfectly fine. Look at me, ready to get hammered and grind on strangers at a club! Plus, this haircut makes me look edgy. Very attractive.”

Nico offered a smile, but his chest still constricted with guilt. It was his fault. And though Will kept saying anyone could’ve run a red light, Nico knew it was more.

It wasn’t just the mistake of running a red light, and slamming the brake when he probably should’ve sped up to get across before cars drove into them. It was the fact that he had been driving and he had let himself get distracted by Will, blond hair flying back in short waves since the window was down, singing happily along with the radio, lips curled into a smile, hands drumming against the dashboard because Will swore he could figure out the drum beat.

He had been selfish, trying to soak up his presence, completely forgetting the road until Will shouted that there was a red light.

Nico hit the brakes without thinking. A jolt hit the front right side, another the back left, the impact shaking his bones, an icy feeling spreading through him as it registered that he’d just crashed. Will’s airbag had burst out, the window shattered, and Will was groaning lifting his head, the right side of his face smear with blood. And Nico’s head had hit the steering wheel hard enough to give him a headache, but he was fine and that wasn’t fair because he was the one driving, it had been his fault, so why had it been Will who got hurt so badly?

Suddenly an arm draped around his shoulders, and he pulled into the scent of Will; cotton and vanilla shampoo and minty toothpaste and Old Spice cologne. “It’s okay, Nico. Stop beating yourself up about this.” Vaguely, Nico wondered if it was possible to be in love with someone he never even dated. “We’re going to dance, we’re going to drink, and we’re going to have some fucking fun.” He shook Nico’s shoulders gently. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Nico said. He smiled and remained under Will’s arm until they reached his car.

Of course, the traffic was bad. It was a Friday night, and everyone was dying to go out into the city and get stupid drunk only to regret it the next morning and do it all over again by the time the sun set.

They had just barely reached the club in time before they refused anyone under 21, and stood in line, pulling out ten bucks each and their IDs. When they reached the bouncer, he checked the IDs and shook his head. “Sorry dudes. No more under 21.”

Will gaped and scoffed. “We’ve been in line for like five minutes. It’s like two minutes past the hour, come on.”

The guy rolled his eyes and gave their IDs back. “Get here earlier next time then.” Nico winced at that, guilty again because he knew his getting ready had made them later.

“What a dick,” Will mumbled under his breath, turning away with Nico. “That’s ridiculous. It’s just fucking ridiculous! We have our money, we’ve been in line, and it’s not like we could get drinks anyway with the exaggerated exes they put on our hands. That shit takes _days_ to wash off, dude.”

“Well, Thursdays are always 21 and under. We could come next week. Why don’t we get a pizza or something and watch a movie at my place?” he suggested. “I’ll buy,” he added, knowing this was all his fault.

Will let his head fall to the side, kicking at the ground. “That does sound tempting,” he said with a smile. Nico smiled back, but before they could turn away, someone walked up to them.

“Hey. I heard you guys were struggling with the bouncer.” Nico looked at the guy uneasily. Never trust anyone you don’t know this late in the heart of the city.

The guy had a lazy posture, tufts of brown hair in tousled waves, and he was rolling a large M&M in his mouth, looking at them with a cocked eyebrow, head tilted to the side.

“Yeah,” Will answered, glancing at Nico. “We’re under 21, but we were in line for a while. He didn’t want to let us in.” He shrugged.

The guy tilted his head back upright, biting down on his chocolate as he looked at Will and smirked. “I could get you guys in. There’s a back door, my friend’s the bartender. He has access to the door.” He gestured over. “Come on.” Will looked at Nico with an excitement Nico couldn’t bring himself to quell.

They walked over, Will walking with ease and Nico with enough tension for both of them. They stood by a door, the ground reeking of piss, trash, and who knows what else for a few moments before the door opened, revealing a guy with a ponytail and wide gages in his earlobes. “Yo, Sebastian. Who’re they?”

“New friends,” he answered. “They’re with me.” They guy nodded and let them in.

The club was packed, and that was an understatement. Bodies could hardly move, but that didn’t stop couples from grinding against each other slowly to the booming beat of the bass or the drunks from shoving past people like the dancefloor was theirs, their drinks spilling onto people or themselves. The song was good, Nico had heard it on the radio, but it was nearly drowned out by the constant club-beat of the bass they’d remixed it into. The song changed, along with a video on the small screens hanging from the ceilings. The beat remained the same, only the lyrics changing.

Nico saw different hair colors, heard shrieks of laughter and people singing along. He saw girls and guys with their hair matted down with sweat against their foreheads as they rocked their hips together, hips swaying sensually, not matching with the beat, but that obviously didn’t matter. “Come on,” he heard a faint shout. He looked over and Sebastian was leading them over to a smoke area where people could sit and take a break.

Will looked absolutely elated. Nico wished he could match his enthusiasm instead of dragging along like dead weight. “I’m Sebastian,” the guy shouted, though this time Nico heard him better.

“I’m Will. This is Nico. Thanks for getting us in!” He flashed a sincere, open smile. God, Nico loved that smile. It held all the warmth in the universe, and it was always honest and it was always special even though he always smiled. Anyone who received a smile from him was blessed for the rest of the day.

“Of course,” he chuckled. “So, you two together?”

Nico’s eyes went wide, his heart stuttered. It wasn’t the first time they’d been asked. People always assumed they were a couple. But each time always made Nico’s heart flutter with fear and hope.

Will laughed good-naturedly and wrapped an arm around Nico. “No, he’s my best friend. We’re both single.” The answer made Nico’s stomach twist, even though he knew it was true. But something changed in Sebastian’s expression. His smile widened slightly, his eyes focused on Will, and Nico had the absurd urge to pull him away and leave the club. Leave the grinding bodies, the boring bass, the messy flashing lights.

Sebastian looked over at Nico and smiled. “You guys want some drinks? Jack won’t ask your ID he knows you came in with me.” Nico looked at him suspiciously, and Sebastian seemed to understand because he laughed. He pulled out some money and handed it over. “You can get them. I know the number one rule of a club is not to take a drink from someone else.”

Nico relaxed and looked at Will. “Can you bring me a Jack and Coke on the rocks?” Nico nodded and pleaded with his eyes for him to stay in the same spot. He didn’t want this guy whisking him away.

While Nico left to get Will’s drink and a beer for himself, he couldn’t help but scan the crowds. It was getting more and more crowded. His eyes flitted over to where Will and Sebastian were waiting.

His stomach dropped.

Sebastian was close, about the same height as Will. His hand was in his hair, on the shaved side. Nico knew he was touching the scar. He knew it, and his stomach churned at the idea. But Will seemed completely at ease. His eyes were lidded, his sweet smile morphed into a sensual smirk, head tilted nearly brushing Sebastian’s nose with his own.

Nico was rushing back, spilling most of his beer, eyes set on the two of them. When he reached them, Will looked his way, but remained close, shoulder brushing Sebastian’s. Nico gave him his drink and Will thanked him. Sebastian whispered something in his ear and Nico fought the urge to hit him.

Then Will leaned over, his whiskey-tinted breath warm in Nico’s ear. “You mind if I go dance?”

His heart dropped to his stomach. “No, go ahead,” he answered lightly.

Will smiled and nudged him. “You should dance too. It’s a club, go meet someone.”

 _But the only person I want is you,_ he thought to himself. But he just smiled and nodded. “Yeah, totally will if I grow enough balls.” Will laughed and punched his shoulder lightly before walking away with Sebastian. Nico noticed with a nauseating lurch that his hand was intertwined in Sebastian’s.

Staying in the smoke area, Nico watched with a twisting heart as Will wrapped his hand around the back of Sebastian’s neck and curled closer to him, careful not to spill his drink. Sebastian’s hands didn't hesitate to roam up and down Will’s torso, fingers searching greedily. Nico dared him to go too far. Too slip his hands too low, to push into him too hard, to do anything that would make Will push him away and turn back to Nico. But he didn't.

Three songs later, he was still painfully watching Will twist in Sebastian’s arms and press against him, head tilted back in a joyous smile as Sebastian tentatively leaned down, encouraged by Will exposing his neck further, and licked the skin there.

It was something Nico had been dying to do, and very nearly did a few times when he was too drunk. And watching Will melt against him, reveling in this stranger's lips at his throat, Nico felt something cold clench his heart until it was too painful. He looked away and wished he had had the gall to tell Will what he felt. Even if Will didn't like him back, at least he wouldn't torture Nico by blatantly flirting and feeling up strangers in front of him. Will would never do that.

Instead he remained seated, sipping lukewarm beer, and wishing more than anything that they’d started walking away a few seconds earlier. Then they wouldn’t have met Sebastian, and they’d be in Nico’s living room watching a movie and throwing pepperoni at each other.

Nico was getting cranky. He was sleepy, hurt, and he felt invisible in the seating area watching couples grope each other. He wondered how many of these people had just met. How many of these were just doing what Will and Sebastian were doing?

His eyes returned to Will and Nico felt the earth shatter beneath him as everything fell away. There was an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, a pain in his heart so strong it became physical.

They were kissing. They were pressed as close as they possibly could be, kissing almost viciously. Even from a distance, Nico could see their tongues probing into each other’s mouths, teeth biting at lips, fingers tangled into locks of hair. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. He wanted to, God he wanted to. He didn’t want to torture himself like this, watching someone adore the person he loved the way he’d always wanted to.

But no.

If Nico had the chance, the kiss wouldn’t be so primal. He would kiss him softly. He would kiss him slowly. He would admire and bask in every sensation, from the warmth of his lips to the way his lips would part slightly to the texture of his tongue pressed against Nico’s own. He would relish the kiss, live in it, cherish it with everything in him.

Knowing that he never would while watching the scene unfold in front of him, the two of them stumbling between dancing people until they were near a wall, pressing into it like they wanted to mold into it, Nico finally had to tear himself away.

The look of pure ecstasy on his face was unfair. Knowing that Will enjoyed what he was doing hurt Nico further. It reiterated that he never stood a chance.

He staggered to the bathroom taking ragged breaths. He splashed his face with water, trying to calm down, trying to quell the hurt, the agony that was trying to bubble and burst through his chest.

He just wanted to go home.

He wasn’t sure how long he took refuge in the bathroom, scrolling through his phone until it was down to 10% if only to ignore the memory pawing at his brain. He didn’t pay attention to the time. But it was nearly three in the morning when his phone rang with Will’s face, contorted by a Snapchat filter, and Nico yelped, nearly dropping his phone. He answered and stuttered out a, “Hello?”

“Don’t hello? me!” he snapped. “Where the hell are you? I’ve gone all over this place looking for you! I came outside and I can’t go back in. Baz’s friend is off his shift. Are you still in there?”

“Looking for me?” he questioned. He blinked and shook his head. “Um, sorry.”

“Are you drunk right now? Where are you? Are you okay?” Nico’s brain was struggling to catch up, but it was more due to the emotional overflow and mind numbing scrolling he’d been doing while inhaling the disgusting scent of the bathroom. “Nico?”

“I’m okay, sorry. I’m-” Suddenly there was no static on the line. He looked at his screen and cursed when he saw it was completely black. It died.

He cursed under his breath and left the bathroom, then the club. It was still relatively full, but not as asphyxiatingly packed as before. There were several people on the sidewalk, waiting on Ubers or friends or trying to maintain their balance long enough to stay upright for two seconds.

He wasn’t sure where Will was, but if he could just go to where they’d parked, he would be fine.

He started walking, and that’s when he heard a relieved cry in the form of his name. He turned and saw Will barreling into him, his arms wrapping around him. Nico yelped and awkwardly hugged him back.

“Where the hell were you?” he asked, pulling away.

Nico tried and failed to ignore the purple marks along his neck and the plump swell on his nearly red lips. “I was in the bathroom,” he grumbled.

“The whole time?” he asked incredulously.

Nico felt his face flush and shrugged his hands away. “Yeah. I think the beer might’ve made me a little sick or something. I wasn’t feeling well, and I didn’t want to force you to go home, so…. I just hung out in the bathroom. I’m sorry I forgot to text you.”

“Nico,” he breath exasperatedly. But before he finished, Sebastian was beside him, an arm snaking around Will’s waist.

He had marks on his neck too. But he had a few bite marks too.

“You found him,” he said. “You okay, dude?”

“Yeah, just feel a little sick,” Nico said, forcing a smile.

“I’m going to take him home,” Will whispered. “Get in, Neeks.” He opened the door for Nico get in, and he did so awkwardly. He could hear the muted murmurs just outside his window. “Thanks for helping me look for him.” Something unintelligible. “I had fun tonight. Text me?”

“As soon as you get in the car.” Nico could see through the side mirror as Sebastian neared Will, his arms wrapping around him. It wasn’t greedy this time. It was soft. Gentle. “Promise I’ll see you again.”

Will’s face tilted toward him, and Nico knew they were kissing again. He furrowed his eyebrows and curled into his seat shutting his eyes. A few excruciatingly long moments later, Will opened the door to the car and got it, starting the engine. “Nico?” Nico didn’t respond. He kept his eyes closed. He could pretend to be happy for him. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. “Neeks?” His hand rested on his arm. “Hm. Maybe you did get sick.” He heard him fumble with something and Nico noticed the air vents weren’t blasting in his face anymore. It was subtler and the air blew gently against him, enough to keep him from sweating, but not so much to make him freeze. The radio switched between stations for a while before Will settled on an Indie station and left it at a low volume.

Will hated Indie. He put it for Nico. So he could unconsciously listen in his sleep. It made Nico want to burst into tears and confession.

Instead, he kept his eyes shut and pretended to sleep the entire way back to campus.


	2. Chapter 2

Relationships were weird. They start when two people agree. They end when one person decides. Of course, there's one person who felt more than the other. It was impossible for two people to be the same level of invested in each other.

Then there were the boundaries. Having to know in your heart when to say I love you. How did anyone do it when it was never certain the other person loved you back? How horrifying to confess the most ardent emotion in your soul only to have it shrugged off or unwanted.

How wonderful and miraculous for those who get to hear it said back.

There's more boundaries. When is it okay to touch where? When does a cuddle turn into a love filled night? Are they afraid?

What about their end? At one point does it stop being worth the struggle? At what point does one person just stop feeling so elated by the other? Where is that point where the emotion wanes?

And how, God how do people deal with the heartbreak? Of having the person who completes their mind and soul snatched away by Cupid’s anti-love arrow or a pair of wandering eyes or….

Or having never got the chance at all?

***

It had been a week since the night at the club. For the rest of the weekend Will had fussed over Nico, making sure he was feeling okay, forcing water down his throat because he had to stay hydrated and refused fatty foods or oily food because those weren't good for a stomach,  and dammit the salad was much better for his health.

It would've made Nico feel lucky, hopeful even. If it hadn't been for those moments when Will zoned out and curled into himself as he typed away on his phone, his freckled cheeks dusted with a rosy blush, trying to suppress a smile. Nico wanted to know what the hell that guybwas saying to make Will fidget and blush in a way Nico never could. But he also didn't, for obvious reasons.

 

Will hadn't talked to him about Sebastian which was both unsettling and a relief. Will always talked to Nico about everything, from crushes, to embarrassing moments, to sexual endeavors (with others or himself, which Nico could never get out of his mind once they'd laughed off the awkward masturbation and fantasy stories). He told Nico everything.

So why was this different?

He waited the rest of the week, and while Will had his nose in his phone for most of it, he still didn't talk about it. Nico tried to tell himself it was a perfect sign that this guy didn't matter.

Then the next weekend came and Nico was hanging out with Will in the study room pretending to do homework.

“We should go to Denny’s tonight. Reward ourselves for studying _so_ hard.” Will snorted and shook his head with a smile.

“Yeah, watching Friends is such a tiring study method.” Nico stuck his tongue out at him. “Actually I'm going out tonight,” he said softly. He looked shy and Nico reminded himself not to show any malcontent. “With Sebastian.”

“Oh. The dude from the club, right?” Will nodded, his cheeks turning bright red. “How old is he?”

“Twenty-two. He's taking me to dinner.” Nico hummed and nodded, plastering a smile on his face even though he wanted to break down.

“I didn't think it'd be serious. You haven't mentioned him.”

Will shrugged and chewed on his thumbnail. “I know, but… we've been texting all week and he's seems pretty….” He chuckled and bit his lip. “Amazing,” he breathed.

Nico snorted, but he could feel his heart falling apart. “I swear if you get all sappy,” he said lightly with a roll of his eyes. Four years of high school theater paid off. Like when he had to make his dad believe he liked girls. Or when he had to weasel his way out of detention for skipping class.

Or when he had to pretend he wasn’t at all hurt that guy he was head over heels for was swooning over someone else right in front of him.

Will chuckled and nudged him. He leaned against him and rested his head on Nico’s shoulder. His heart was hammering in his chest, chipping away further with each pound. “Aw, don't worry, Neeks. You know you'll always be my number one guy.”

Will wasn't looking at him, so Nico allowed himself to shut his eyes and clench his jaw in a pained expression for a second before leaning his head over Will’s. “If you say so, Freckles.” Will sighed and chuckled. “Just be careful, okay? I'll wear a wig and glasses and follow you if I have to. Just send a text saying Code Red and I'm there.”

Will’s musical laugh filled the study room as he threw his arms around Nico. God, he must be a masochist. That was the only thing that explained why Nico kept putting himself through this agony.

“You're the best, you know that?”

_No I'm not. If I were you'd like me back._

Nico chuckled and hugged him back lightly before he pulled away. He wasn't sure what he'd do if this got serious. He could handle a few flings; he'd done it before. But Will had never been in a legitimate, long term relationship. Something in his gut told him that was going to change.

He didn't want to lose Will. He didn't want his feelings to cost him the most amazing friend he'd ever had. But he couldn't help the pain that coursed through him at the sole thought of having to see Will in someone else's arms every day. Of seeing him get flustered and fidgety over someone else.

“So, what are you going to wear?” he asked.

***

Once Will was ready, he stopped at Nico’s place. He'd told Sebastian to pick him up at the school. He wanted to get an idea of the guy before telling him where he lived, which Nico thought was smart.

He was pacing around in the living room and running his hand through his hair nervously. Watching him worriedly, Nico made a decision. If the date didn't go well, if by some miracle God was smiling down on him and Will came back not wanting to hear anything about this Sebastian guy, then Nico would tell him. Nico would sit him down, confess his feelings, and tell him that it was fine if he didn't like him back. He just couldn't keep pretending it didn't hurt.

Suddenly, Will was facing him, blue eyes wide with worry. “He's here. How do I look?”

Nico kept himself from being absolutely honest and making a fool of himself. Instead he smiled and put his hands on Will’s shoulders. “You look great. He'd be crazy to think otherwise. Remember if anything happens, I'll be there as soon as I can.” Will smiled gratefully and nodded. He scooped Nico into his arms, and Nico didn't hesitate to hug him back just as tightly.

“I'll let you know how it goes.” He smiled and left the apartment.

Nico took a breath and grabbed a his phone to order a pity pizza.

***

Will never had a problem with jitters. He was always certain enough of himself, and it always gave him the upper hand in his romantic endeavors. He just loved the spontaneity of dating. The different people, the different experiences that came from a single one. A movie date could go so many ways with different people, and Will felt that those experiences were important. Important in the sense that it allowed him to figure himself and his likes and dislikes out.

But this time…. This was definitely topping the list of new experiences. These jitters that made him quiet and bashful and _giggly._ He hated when people giggled, but he found himself doing that a lot when it came to Baz. It was in the way he looked at him.

Baz’s eyes made him feel like he was the only important thing in the room that night in the club. He was so confident, so forward, and Will had enjoyed it. But as the night neared its end, and Will had assumed the fling had as well, Baz had asked for his number. And as he pulled his phone out, he realized Nico was missing.

The panic that had filled him should've scared Baz off. When Will worried, he did it without reservation. He pulled every stranger aside asking for Nico, shoved past them in search of him, called his name loud enough to startle people.

Instead of being put off by it, Baz had pulled him aside, helped him take a deep breath, and reminded him cell phones existed. And while Will tried to contact Nico, he'd kept searching. That's when Will felt a shift. It wasn't a simple fling. He craved more.

And after a week of texting, flirting, phone calls just to make him laugh, Will had fallen _hard._

Still, being face to face with him again left him giddy and so nervous he couldn't speak. Baz looked over at him and slipped his hand into Will’s. “You know, you have the edgy look, but you're absolutely adorable.” Will laughed and shook his head trying to reign his smile in. “Why so shy? You weren't like this when we first met.”

Will blushed and ran his free hand through his hair. “Yeah. I don't know. I don't know,” he giggled. “This is pretty new for me.”

Baz gave him a look and bit back his own smile. They parked at a restaurant Will didn't recognize. The engine was shut off and then Baz was looking at him with those pretty light brown eyes, not quite hazel. He rubbed his thumb along Will’s knuckles and smiled sweetly. “I’ve been dying to kiss you again since you drove off from the club,” he murmured. Will’s breath hitched. “Would that… be okay?”

Will gulped and nodded, eyes locked on Baz as he leaned in, his warm lips pressed against Will’s. Every part of him was tingling with excitement. Baz pulled back, and Will unconsciously moved forward to follow his lips, eyes taking fluttering open a few seconds later.

Baz smiled and ran his thumb along Will’s bottom lip. “You’re incredible, you know?” Will smiled dopily and opened his mouth to bite down on his thumb gently. He saw the change in his eyes, the flush of his face. And he loved it. He loved that it was because of him.

When they went into the restaurant, Baz interlocked their hands, and Will molded against him easily. They sat down and Will looked over the menu, smiling to himself as they played a subtle game of footsie under the table.

“Need help choosing?” Baz asked.

Will nodded and looked at him. “You’ve been here before. What do you suggest I get?”

“You don’t mind me choosing for you?”

Will hummed and shook his head. “I trust you,” he answered with a smile. Baz’s eyes softened, his smile sweet. It made Will’s heart stutter. “So?”

“I’ve got it,” he said with a smile. He set the menus aside and tore off a piece of bread that Will hadn’t bothered to try. It had a weird color, and Will didn’t trust any whole grain wheat bread. “Try this. It’s good, I promise.” Will grimaced and bit his lip. Baz laughed and took his hand. “You just said you trusted me. Come on.” He put the bread against his lips, insisting he open his mouth. Finally, Will opened his mouth with a roll of his eyes and Baz placed the bread on his tongue. He chewed it carefully, and Baz continued to smile at him like he was the most important person in the room and no one else mattered or even existed. “So?”

Will licked his lips and shrugged. “Okay, it wasn’t _horrible,”_ he admitted. Baz laughed and leaned forward, drawn to Will as much as Will was drawn to him. The rest of dinner was filled with delicious food and light teasing and lots of questions.

Sebastian had a tough home life. His father had been an alcoholic who cheated on his mother countless times and it wasn’t until he’d left her for one of those women that they were free of the abuse he would bring down on them. His voice was so soft, his features, so pained that Will couldn’t bring himself to ask for details on what he meant by abuse. He just took his hand and kissed it lightly, shutting his eyes. Then he told him about his sister. He had a sister four years younger than him. His mom had passed away, so it was just them, and he really hoped he could introduce them sometime.

The comment had filled Will with jitters and butterflies. He was completely head over heels.

He was pretty independent, focusing more on taking care of his sister which Will admired. He admired a lot about Baz. His resilience, his efforts, the fact that he was still such a sweet, wonderful person despite the shitty past. He was incredible.

When he was done talking, Will told him a little about his life. About how his parents were divorced, but on good terms, so he was able to see them both often. How he loved being around people, but trusted very few. And he told him about Nico because that was his best friend and the person he confided in most.

He didn’t have any heroic stories or sacrifices, and he was worried he may have seemed superficial and spoiled, but Baz didn’t seem to think that. He listened just as raptly and sincerely.

They were there long after they’d finished eating, talking about anything and everything. Childhood stories, dreams and aspirations, their favorite music, their favorite television shows. And with each passing moment, Will hoped for more and more.

In fact, he wasn’t even aware of how much time had passed until they were alerted that the restaurant would be closing. Being with Baz felt timeless, and he’d never felt that on a date before. They paid the check and left the restaurant, walking leisurely.

“Can I be honest?” Will whispered, half-hoping the night would swallow his words. But Baz leaned into him and hummed. “I don’t want this date to end yet.”

Baz looked at him with an overjoyed smile and pulled him into a kiss. “Me either. I have an idea.” He took his hand and led him to the car then drove off, playing a modern radio station until they had circled into downtown and parked in a ten-story parking lot. They got out and Baz took him to the end of the parking lot, arms resting on the concrete ledge. Will could’ve sat on it without a fear of falling. So that’s exactly what he did.

And he realized why he’d been taken there. Every light in downtown was visible from there. Every set of headlights, every traffic light, the trees decorated in Christmas lights even though it was only early October. And the lights to every skyscraper, club, and restaurant with people rushing about.

He felt Baz’s breath at his ear. “Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing,” he whispered, leaning back against him. Baz’s arms wrapped around him and he was aware of the fact that Baz wasn’t looking at the view. He was looking at him. He felt the scarlet blush begin to fill his cheeks and he turned to him with a timid smile. “What?”

He didn’t answer. He leaned forward and kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, his lips. His hand caressed Will’s face with the softest touch he’d ever experienced. “Bless the clock that put us in the same place at the same time.” Will felt like he was melting.

He turned himself around completely, with Baz between his legs as he pulled him closer, kissing him slowly at first then with more fervor. Being with him… it just made Will more reckless than usual. Baz’s fingers tightened slightly around his arms, pulling him closer. Will wanted to make him feel good, wanted to make him want more just like Will did.

He dipped his head to kiss his neck, biting the way he knew Baz liked. He could hear his soft, rapid breaths in his ear, with an occasional suppressed moan. Will took his hand and led him to the buttons of his pants. He had forgotten where they were. He just knew he wanted to be with Baz.

“You can touch me if you want,” he whispered, his voice low.

Sebastian shut his eyes and let out a soft groan. “I do,” he murmured. “I want to touch every part of you.” Will pressed closer him, smiling. “But I don’t want to do this on our first date, Will.” He peeled himself from Will’s embrace and took his face in his hands. Will stared at him in shock. “Don’t look so surprised, baby,” he chuckled. “I’m just… let’s take this slow. Believe me, I want to. _Fuck_ I want to,” he nearly growled. “But I want more dates. I want to know you more, talk to you more, and then….” He shrugged.

Will smirked and ran a finger along the base of his throat. “You’re trying to court me, Bastian,” he realized. “You’re quite the romantic, aren’t you?” He bit his lip and ducked his head, embarrassed. Will tilted his face back up and smiled. “You’re amazing,” he whispered.

Baz smiled and kissed him again, small kisses interrupted with soft laughter and smiles and endearing looks.

It wasn’t until Baz noticed Will’s sleepiness that he offered to drive him back. Still not wanting to give his address, he asked him to take him to campus. He knew he could stay with Nico there. Baz took him and before Will could get out of the car, he pulled him into another kiss.

It was slow and gentle, and it made Will dizzy. He smiled as Baz pulled away and opened his eyes slowly. “I look forward to our second date,” he whispered. Baz smiled at him and Will forced himself out of the car before he decided he’d rather spend the night kissing Sebastian than sleeping.

He went to the apartments on campus and walked up to Nico’s. He knew Nico usually left it unlocked despite the many times Will warned him against it. Just as expected, the door opened easily.

Will had planned to fall asleep on the couch without waking Nico. He knew Nico wouldn’t mind. Half the time that’s why he left the door unlocked. But when he walked in, he saw a half a pizza in a pizza box, three cans of soda, the television screen stuck on Netflix asking if Nico was “Still watching _How to Get Away With Murder?”_

Then, Nico’s sleeping form on his couch. He was splayed across it, his entire body relaxed except for his hand. That was clenched tightly around his phone, pressed close to his chest. Will wondered if he’d been waiting on him to call.

He walked over, shaking Nico gently. His eyes shot open and he gasped, but Will shushed him. “Hey, Sleepyhead.” Nico groaned and wiped his eyes. “You should get to your bed.”

“What time is it?”

“I don’t know like 3:30?” he answered. Nico blinked in surprise, shutting his eyes tiredly. “Come on, you want me to carry you to your bed or something?”

“No,” he yawned. He sat up and rubbed his neck. “I take it your date went well then.”

Will smiled and nodded. “It was wonderful.”

Nico gave him a sleepy smile and nodded. “Glad to hear. You can heat up the pizza or just leave it, I’ll toss it in the morning. Goodnight.”

Will nodded and grabbed two slices, scarfing them down at the same time as he looked for the blankets Nico usually had set aside for times Will stayed over. He shut off the TV, wrapped himself in blankets, and sighed in content as he drifted to sleep with the ghost of Baz’s lips on his own.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this has been over a year ahhhhh <3

There were some people that immediately felt… off. People who, when they spoke, sparked some sort of evolutionary instinct in you to be wary. For some people it was a look in their eyes, something missing. Or the way they presented themselves.

It felt different from prejudice because it was a suspicion that you knew full well had no solid ground, and yet every instinct told you to stay alert. Not to let them close.

Many people confused this instinct for pretentiousness or pessimism. But that wasn’t the case. The fact of the matter was that some people were just more attuned to the characteristics in others that didn’t seem genuine.

Some people were more attuned to those who were dangerous.

\---

It had been three weeks since Will’s first date with Sebastian. Since then, there had been three more dates. Will had deemed the guy trustworthy enough to know his real address.

And Nico had allowed the slight amount of distance between him and his best friend and Will made space for a new person in his life. It had hurt to let go of weekend traditions of movie nights, but that would’ve sounded stupid to bring up to Will without sounding pathetic. So Nico just pretended he didn’t mind the rainchecks on their usual Friday night pizza and movies. Then he pretended he didn’t mind hearing about the date the next day.

“Neeks!” Will called out as he walked into Nico’s apartment. Nico was in the kitchen cooking some lemon marinated chicken and heating up some homemade marinara for the pasta to go with it. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite chef,” Will said with a smile.

“What’s up?” Nico greeted, stirring the pot so the sauce wouldn’t stick. “Come here, tell me if this has salt.”

Will walked over and leaned against the counter. Nico held up the spoon for him and Will had a taste. His eyes rolled back dramatically. “God, Neeks, I would die for you to cook my food every day.” Nico laughed and shook his head. “Speaking of food, are you busy tonight?”

“I was gonna work on a paper, but it’s not due until Friday.” Nico drained the pasta and set it aside. “Why?”

There was a beat of silence. Then-

“I was thinking you could meet Baz.”

Nico froze for a second and took a steadying breath. He looked over at Will and feigned nonchalance. “I’ve already met him, dude, what do you mean?”

“I mean, I would like for you to meet him properly. As… you know, my boyfriend.”

 Nico felt his breath leave him all at once. He wasn’t sure if he could talk without his voice wavering. But he didn’t want Will to figure that out. He feigned a laugh. “When’d that happen?”

“Last night. When he took me home. And you’re my best friend, so it’s only sensible that I want you to meet him and you know, be friends with him.” Nico hummed. “Neeks, come on, he’s a good guy!”

“He’s Frenching you every weekend, of course you’re gonna say that.”

Nico turned away, but he felt Will’s hand on his arm turn him around. “Hey. What the hell? You’re not this closed-minded, Nico, what gives? Why don’t you like Baz if you don’t even know him? And don’t give me that bullshit about him giving you a bad vibe when we met him.” Nico rolled his eyes. “We were downtown at a cheap club in the middle of the night, anyone would’ve given you those vibes.”

“I don’t need to like your boyfriend to be your best friend, do I?” Nico pointed out. He pulled away from his grasp and returned to the food, adding the finishing touches. He shut off the stove and served himself then started on a plate for Will.

“Don’t serve me. I’m not eating.” Nico looked at Will in confusion. “I’m gonna head out. Let you write your paper and whatever.”

“Will.”

He shook his head and shrugged. “It’s cool.”

Nico called after him again, rushing to stop him from leaving. He hated the feeling he got when Will was upset with him. He hated the disappointment that tinged his honey-like voice. He hated the way his smile wouldn’t reach his eyes because even when he’d been in the hospital getting stitches, his smile was genuine. But it wouldn’t be if Nico had hurt his feelings.

Nico barely managed to beat him to the door. “Dude, come on. Is this really about my not wanting to meet this guy?”

“His name is Sebastian!” Will snapped. He rubbed his face and groaned. “Nico…. Baz is important to me. I really, _really_ like him. I think something real could come from this which I’d never felt with anyone else before. And you’re one of the most important people in my life, so yeah I want you to give him a chance. But you won’t even try, so I’m not gonna bother anymore!”

Nico felt his heart break with each word. But he knew Will wasn’t saying it to hurt him. Will didn’t know about Nico’s feelings for him. In his eyes, Nico was being an ass. So Nico had two choices:

He could confess his feelings to Will and tell him the real reason he couldn’t bring himself to meet the guy that stole him away every weekend and brought him back with new hickeys on his neck. Or….

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll give him a chance. When do you want me to meet him?”

Will rolled his eyes. “Well that doesn’t count! You’re just saying that because I got upset.”

Nico stayed against the door, stopping him from leaving. “Okay, yeah, maybe. But because I hate upsetting you. I’m being a jerk, I know that. I’m sorry. If it really means that much to you, then I’ll meet him.” He waited for Will to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, Will.”

After a moment, Will finally gave him a real smile. “I can’t stay mad at you, Neeks.” He walked back to the kitchen and began serving himself. “And you’re not gonna be alone. I’ll introduce you guys.”

Nico groaned internally. Fucking perfect. Outwardly, he was smiling. He grabbed his plate and sat with Will on the couch. They started watching a show on Netflix, settling into comfortable silence.

After a while, Will looked at him and said, “He is a nice person, Neeks. I think you’ll like him. And if you don’t after actually sitting and talking with him, then I’ll leave it alone, I promise.”

Nico chuckled and nodded. Will always saw the best of people. It was because of that wonderful trait that they were even friends to begin with. “Okay,” he said.

***

It seemed casual enough. They were all at Will’s place, watching a movie for some background noise while they had a few drinks, courtesy of Sebastian.

Nico had come in planning to be the most polite person on the face of the planet.

Sebastian was pretty charismatic. To the point of annoyance. He was so breezy about everything, and he kept referring to Nico as “man.”

Hey, man. You know, man. So, man. Alright, man. It was getting aggravating, but Nico bit his tongue. That was a stupid reason not to like this guy.

Which wasn’t to say Nico’s feelings for Will were the _only_ reason he didn’t like Sebastian. Nico had tried his best to consciously separate that fact from the situation. He looked at Sebastian as his own person rather than Will’s ridiculously clingy, fucking boyfriend.

Sebastian on his own just had… a vibe. Something about the way he smiled and the way he looked at Nico made him feel on edge. He felt like Sebastian was sizing him up, like he was hiding something. And he was so blatant about his opinions that it only made it more suspicious. Like he was _trying_ to be perfect.

But didn’t everyone do that when they were dating someone? Didn’t everyone put out their best persona in hopes of being the best version of themselves for someone? That should’ve warmed Nico up to him, made him see that this guy was really trying to be a good boyfriend for his best friend.

Except it didn’t. Instead, it felt ominous. Nico had no idea why. He wanted to like this guy. It might hurt less to have lost Will to him if Nico could at least like him and say he was a good guy. He wanted to like him so Will would be happy.

But each time Nico tried to stop feeling so defensive, something in his body would ring an alarm, and he’d start all over again.

Maybe it was in Nico’s head, but Sebastian seemed to find any possible form of holding onto Will to keep him away from Nico. He’d wrap his arms around his torso, lean into him, and keep him on one side of the couch. But that was just classic boyfriend stuff, right? It was probably just his jealousy talking.

At one point, Nico had gone to the bathroom and come back to find the two of them making out in the kitchen, with Sebastian’s leg between Will’s. Nico made a weird sound like a frightened animal, and Will panicked, delving into nervous laughter as Sebastian pulled away.

Will kept apologizing, insisting that he wasn’t drunk or anything, just caught up in the moment, and more apologies. Sebastian looked sheepish, but again something felt off about it.

“Yeah, sorry about that, man.”

Nico gave them a reassuring smile. “Not a big deal,” he said. “I’m actually going to head out, it’s pretty late. My Uber’s almost here. Thanks for having me over, though.”

“Yeah, let me walk you out,” Will said. He stepped outside with Nico and bit his lip. “So…? Final verdict?” Big blue eyes looked at him hopefully, nervously. Vulnerable.

 _I hate him._ “He’s pretty cool.” _He’s not good enough for you._ “He seems you make you really happy.” _There’s something weird about him._ “I’m sorry I was so resistant to it at first. I know that wasn’t fair.”

Will sighed in relief. He wrapped his arms around Nico and hugged him tightly. “I knew you’d like him. Thanks for giving him a chance.” Nico chuckled and hugged him back. Then Will pulled away. “Let me know when you get home, okay?”

Nico nodded and turned away, heading to the car that was waiting with hazard lights on.

He looked back as Will went back inside and wondered why he had such a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

***

Will went back inside and joined Baz on the couch. He leaned into his side and hummed when he felt his arms around him. “Nico likes you.”

“Yeah?” Baz smiled and kissed his forehead. “He’s a pretty chill guy. Seems quiet.”

“Yeah, he’s an introvert. But he’s really sweet and honestly one of the best people I know.”

Sebastian looked at him and gave him a soft smile. “You really care about him, huh?”

Will shrugged. “Of course. He’s my best friend.”

Baz nodded and pulled Will onto his lap. “Well, I liked him too. He seems cool. And you looked so happy seeing us talk.” Will laughed and nodded. “I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

The words made Will feel warm and fuzzy inside. He bit his lip and slowly leaned in to kiss him. He loved the way these kisses always escalated. The way they would start out soft and slow, the touches gentle and light. Then the way they would get more intense the longer they were together. How Sebastian’s fingers became a little more reckless as they pulled him closer, how their breaths turned ragged with every graze of teeth and the way their moans became unabashed.

Sebastian’s hands held onto Will’s waist and tugged. Will rocked his hips, which made Baz moan a little louder. He slid his fingers under Baz’s shirt, tugging up and up and up until it was off.

That seemed to make the intentions clear. Sebastian smiled and raised an eyebrow.

“What, are you more a fifth date kind of guy?” Will asked.

Sebastian laughed and kissed him again before holding onto his thighs and standing up. Will wrapped his legs around him and groaned as Sebastian worked on leaving new hickeys against his neck.

They stumbled into Will’s room. The sound of the bedsprings creaking a bit as Sebastian laid him down and clambered over him was music to his ears. The rest of the night was like the most beautiful orchestra done just for him.

\--

The next day, Will met up with Nico so they could carpool for lunch. As they sat down in a booth to eat, Nico looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you okay? You’re acting… loopy.”

“Loopy?” Will laughed. Nico nodded. “I’m not loopy. I’m happy.” Nico snorted and muttered something under his breath about drugs. “Nico! You’re an ass,” Will muttered. Nico laughed again and stuck his tongue out at him.

They started eating and Nico went on a tangent about a TV show he’d been watching. During a lull in the conversation, Will pushed his food around and licked his lips. “Hey, so… you really liked Sebastian last night? Like… the whole vibe thing isn’t a problem anymore.”

Nico frowned and looked at him curiously. “Yeah, he’s cool. I mean, like you said it was probably the environment.”

“Okay cool.” Nico nodded and went back to eating. Will bit his lip. “Um. ‘Cause. We kind of… slept together last night.”

There was a beat of silence. Will looked over at Nico who looked confused or shocked or… something. “You… slept with him. As in… had sex?” Will nodded. “Oh. Wow.”

“What’s that mean? What?”

Nico rolled his eyes shook his head. “Nothing. I mean, you’ve slept with people before. I’m just saying… I’m a little surprised since you just started actually being a couple.” Will felt a little offended at that. “I’m not saying that as a bad thing,” Nico assured him, reading him like a book. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Right. Well. It happened.” Nico nodded. “And it was great.” Nico grimaced. “God, Nico! What? What the hell is it?”

“Nothing! I just don’t want details about you-” Nico broke off and spoke quieter. “I don’t want the details about you sex life with him.”

“Okay, well why the hell does it feel like you don’t want to know anything about my relationship with him? I mean the first two weeks, you complained because you said I was getting distant since I wasn’t talking about it. Now any fucking time I do, you’re making these faces!”

“It’s nothing, Will. It’s not that. Okay, I’m happy for you, I think he’s a cool guy, and if you wanted to sleep with him, then congrats, you did it! I just….” Nico groaned and hid his face in his hands. “I’m just….”

“ _What?”_ Will insisted.

“I’m jealous! Okay? I’m fucking jealous, Will.”

Nico shoved his food aside and leaned his forehead into the palm of his hand. Will looked at him for a moment and sighed. “Shit, Nico. Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“I didn’t… want to make you feel weird.”

Will laughed and shook his head. “Hey, come on. I’m your best friend. Look, I’ll cut back on the relationship talk. And I’ll help you find someone. We can try Tinder or something. But Neeks, you gotta be willing to put yourself out there too.”

Nico lifted his head and stared at him. “What?”

Will sighed and shook his head at his best friend. “Dude, you can’t be jealous that I’m in a relationship when you won’t even go up and talk to someone. That’s not how you get your own relationship.”

Nico stared at him dumbly for a few seconds before hiding his face in his hands again. “Oh my, _God._ ”

“Gimme your phone,” Will said with a laugh. “We’re gonna get you a date. And maybe we could double date, that way you won’t be so nervous.” Nico didn’t say anything. He just shoved his phone at him and shook his head. “Aren’t you going to finish your fries?”

“Not hungry anymore,” Nico muttered. Will rolled his eyes.

It made sense now. He and Nico had been spending all their time together and usually had their nights in. Now that Will had a relationship, it made sense that Nico got a little lonely. Especially with Will talking about his relationship to him. He wanted to find someone good for his best friend. Someone who could make Nico as happy as Baz made him.

He turned the phone toward him. “How’s this guy. Our age, Hispanic, likes dogs, and is a mechanical engineer major.”

“Everyone loves dogs,” Nico mumbled. Will hit his arm, trying to get his attention. Nico huffed and looked up, staring at the profile picture of a curly haired guy in a dramatic pose.

“He seems funny too,” Will pointed out. Nico gave him a thumbs-up. Will laughed and swiped right. “Hey, it’s a match! Damn, Nico, barely on this thing for five minutes and you’ve got a match.”

“Please kill me.”

“Stop being so pessimistic.”

“Stop being an idiot.”

Will rolled his eyes and nudged him for his opinion on another profile. Nico sighed and eventually slid into the seat beside Will, leaning against him and providing his feedback. Nico was getting quite a few matches.

Hopefully this would help ease the tension Will had felt come between them recently. He wish he’d known Nico was lonely. He would’ve been more considerate. But now with Nico beside him, laughing at bios with him, he thought maybe things would be okay.


End file.
